What: The Royal Windsor Horse Show, from the flip side.
Highlights: Strawberries and cream in adorably tiny cups. Carl Hester ribbing Charlotte Dujardin during her exhibition ride (watch it here). Champagne. Holland Cooper, generally. Frighteningly athletic children riding in the Gymkhana. Land Rover trials over a terrifyingly impressive mechanized obstacle course. Hermes.
Vibe: Country fair, heavily Londonized. White denim. All the champagne. Men in brogues.
Have: A driver, or appropriate footwear (there is a healthy foot-jaunt from the parking). One fantastic, well-fitting tweed item. Cheeky caps and floppy sunhats ok; baseball hats not ok. Access to chic layers should it rain, which it will. Oversize sunnies recommended, aviators at a minimum. A vigorous credit card for falling down the retail rabbit hole.
Never ever ever: Unfitted outerwear. E-cigarettes. Backpacks not containing a helmet. Sport sunglasses. Fussy hair. Apparel emblazoned with competitions you have participated in or won (exceptions: The Olympics; WEG; GCT). The sales rack vendors; this will only dishearten you, or lead you astray. Do not wear your actual riding boots, this reads dreadfully Pony Club (exception: short boots, but only if Italian). If you absolutely must wear your breeches, at least wear your most pristine whites (sock-bottomed), and have the remainder of your look purely civilian. For the love of god, do not wear your cotton jods. Actually, why do you own cotton jods? Toss those yesterday and never speak of it again.
Visual diary:
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