equestrienne.co

Royal Windsor: The Takeaway

What: The Royal Windsor Horse Show, from the flip side.

Highlights: Strawberries and cream in adorably tiny cups. Carl Hester ribbing Charlotte Dujardin during her exhibition ride (watch it here). Champagne. Holland Cooper, generally. Frighteningly athletic children riding in the Gymkhana. Land Rover trials over a terrifyingly impressive mechanized obstacle course. Hermes.

Vibe: Country fair, heavily Londonized. White denim. All the champagne. Men in brogues.

Have: A driver, or appropriate footwear (there is a healthy foot-jaunt from the parking). One fantastic, well-fitting tweed item. Cheeky caps and floppy sunhats ok; baseball hats not ok. Access to chic layers should it rain, which it will. Oversize sunnies recommended, aviators at a minimum. A vigorous credit card for falling down the retail rabbit hole.

Never ever ever: Unfitted outerwear. E-cigarettes. Backpacks not containing a helmet. Sport sunglasses. Fussy hair. Apparel emblazoned with competitions you have participated in or won (exceptions: The Olympics; WEG; GCT). The sales rack vendors; this will only dishearten you, or lead you astray. Do not wear your actual riding boots, this reads dreadfully Pony Club (exception: short boots, but only if Italian). If you absolutely must wear your breeches, at least wear your most pristine whites (sock-bottomed), and have the remainder of your look purely civilian. For the love of god, do not wear your cotton jods. Actually, why do you own cotton jods? Toss those yesterday and never speak of it again.

Visual diary:

// more on instagram

Obsession Alert: Holland Cooper

What: Holland Cooper

Logistics: Harrods London standout. Timeless and sexy simultaneously. Whispers sweet nothings to our tweed obsession. Pop up shops at major Equestrian events UK-wide.

Manifestation exercises: You probably own a rustic country cabin, but with a butler, or at least someone to hedge the bushes and live in during the week. You should be able to prove actual experience on a hunt field prior to purchase, or have a Rover key in your pocket during (Land, not Range). You may or may not know how to shoot a pheasant. Any man who can carry off the Sloane jacket (Grey Donegal, please) with white denim earns an automatic catnip rating of 8.5, regardless of height.

Key pieces: The label is known for the ladies capes, which come in a wide range of UK-made tweeds, with or without fur trims. Bonus points for rolling up in the Gold Label offering, which boasts a healthy dose of raccoon fur. Also, you will require a tweed mini skirt, because sex.

Accessorize with: Heiress waves set in mermaid-length layered locks. Oversize sunnies. Dramatic mani (black, mulberry, silver foil). An appreciation for monogramming. Bangles and rings ok, but only if stacked.

Soundscape: The huntsman calling the hounds; Richard Branson.

hc3 — Designer Jade Holland Cooper in one of the line’s staple miniskirts

hc5 — Excuse us while we google pheasant hunting.

Delicious raccoon trims from the Gold Label.

Additional stalking // www.hollandcooper.com

Dilemma Fix: Hideous Gifting

Problem: Horses are your favourite animal, and everyone knows it. You think most things are vaguely pony; you automatically translate civilian in your head. Hunting? Foxes. Weekend? Horse shows. J Crew? Appropriate layering staples. Wellies? Hunters, stop. Victorian? Probably means gold spurs, or something carriage-related, you know who Jane Austen is, ok?

Where things get weird: People (great-aunts) will try to buy you interest-specific apparel.

Example:

Solution: Pony chic. Behold, gifting options that won’t make you question every life choice that made someone want to buy you a hooded sweatshirt (!) that said “Born to Ride”.

Appropriate course of action going forward: Print this. Label with applicable size. Send. Pray. Reward positive changes in gifting behaviour. Withhold Christmas cards until a new pattern has been established.

Equipment "Kiera" // via Neiman Marcus (USA) — Equipment “Kiera” Blouse // via Neiman Marcus (USA)

Asmar Linen "Cheval" T // via Asmar Equestrian — Cheval Linen T // via Asmar Equestrian

Stella McCartney Horse-Print Scarf // via matchesfashion.com

Stella McCartney Denim Jeans (on sale!) // via Neiman Marcus

Anna Karin-Karlsson Horse Sunglasses // via Neiman Marcus

Horse Print Baseball T // Raquel Allegra @ matchesfashion.com

See by Chloe // via Neiman Marcus — See by Chloe Jaquard Car Coat // via Neiman Marcus

Stella McCartney // via Harrods — Stella McCartney Pegasus Jumper // via Harrods

Hi Baby // Polo Ralph Lauren // via asos

Playing Favourites // Polo Ralph Lauren, Ready to Wear Fall 2015

What: Highlight reel, Polo Ralph Lauren, Ready to Wear Fall 2015.

Why you care: Classic equestrian club vibes. Have you seen polo? You care so much. We’re going to the club right now. Get in the Rover. Ralph Lauren forever.

Takeaway points: A neutral palette will go all the way. Keep it simple but layered. Acquire a blanket duster-length coat, as well as Joni Mitchell’s entire discography. Forget that “refined” and “leather fringe” used to be mutually exclusive terms. Strongly consider a beret, but wimp out at the last minute and buy an aubergine beanie. Temporarily lose your flatiron. Fall in love with dark moody jewel tones. You are a forest gypsy wildling schoolgirl nymph princess. Resist the urge to let your stable grow long manes; do not resist the urge to make daisy chains.

Need. Need this coat. Hyperventilating. // via style.com

Touch of Americanav Fringe // via style.com — Touch of Americana Fringe // via style.com

layered neutrals forever // via style.com

A stylized set of tails for Sundays // via style.com

Tweed duster for the win // via style.com — Tweed overcoat for the win // via style.com

Layers + Visibly bunched socks // via style.com

textures and jeweltones // via style.com

An unfussed blazer is gonna get necessary // via style.com — An unfussed blazer is gonna get necessary + a pop o’ neon // via style.com

Additional Stalking

Badminton Vibes

What: Mitsubishi Motors Badminton Horse Trials

Why you care: The ultimate marriage of athleticism and lifestyle. Also, junk food.

General rules: Color is ok. It is not to be feared. Bonnets often do not match saddle pads and no world ends. Embrace your inner triathlete, but under no circumstances are you to shirk the pub. Bonus points given for inexplicable fitness in the face of regular bangers and mash washed down with pale ale.

Standing out whilst blending in: Do not dress for the jog. Focus on layers. Think industry insider; perhaps you are jumping the Grassroots Championship, and had to hack one out first thing, so. You will be cold in the mornings, since your mornings will look more like nights, so bring your puffer, hopefully in a neutral palette. Pick one color to pop. A pedometer is a must, but one must never discuss the results nor produce less than 30,000 steps per day. Wellies, but not the tall ones, you’re not some city civilian. Never languish anywhere; you have no spare time. Always appear hurried yet frightfully energetic.

William Fox-Pitt (GBR) riding Chilli Morning pinches Jackie Potts' hat after winning Badminton // via badminton-horse.co.uk — William Fox-Pitt (GBR) riding Chilli Morning pinches Jackie Potts’ hat after winning Badminton // via badminton-horse.co.uk

Joelle Price with Classic Moet // via badminton-horse.co.uk

Alexander Peternell & Asih // via badminton-horse.co.uk

Jonathan Paget (NZL) riding Clifton Promise // via badminton-horse.co.uk

Nicola Wilson's lovely One Two Many and Beltane Queen // via badminton-horse.co.uk — Nicola Wilson’s lovely One Two Many and Beltane Queen // via badminton-horse.co.uk

Ben Hobday (GBR) with Mulrys Error // via badminton-horse.co.uk — Ben Hobday (GBR) with Mulrys Error, looking like his milkshake brings all the girls to the yard // via badminton-horse.co.uk

Further stalking:

http://www.badminton-horse.co.uk

Muse Moment // Jessica Springsteen

What: Classic Americana rock royalty, add twist of Jersey, spritz of Society. Muddle with leather and serve on the boardwalk.

Have: A soft, forward hand. Fantastic brows. Work ethic. Undergrad degree from respectable Americana institution. ASPCA Maclay Title. Sense of humour. Famous industry friends that legit like you.

None, zero, zilch: Tabloid headlines. Extensions. Faux leather. Thirsty behaviours.

Vibe: Unbothered, workmanlike. Classic pieces, nothing too trendy, natural fibers. Tasteful but undeniably sexy. Girl-next-door-in-a-shampoo-commercial hair.

Get amongst it: Poppa Bruce’s Wrecking Ball, 2012, all the way through, while you deep condition your locks and vow to only salon color from now on. Cultivate a centre part. Aquire fantastic abs but in no way flaunt them. Maintain a first-rate instagram account. Be so down to earth everyone wants to be your bff.

via theeditorialist.com — via Editorialist

Jersey Girl Vibes // via gettyimages — Jersey Girl Vibes // via getty images

Additional stalking:

https://instagram.com/jessicaspringsteen

https://editorialist.com/magazine/8870/born-to-ride#1

Jumper Chic: A Guide

What: Showjumper queen, but tidy. Think sportof kings, stuff of dreams, love of life, scene of scenes. Never fussy, always classy. Manifestation Exercises: Imagine everything you do is in slow motion and also black and white. Visualize that every handbag you own is lined in Baker plaid and smells of polo mints and Miss Dior. There are spare pearl earrings in your left breech pocket which you do not worry about as they are freshwater. You are going to spin and hot yoga on the off-day. Inspo: Tiffany Foster, Reed Kessler, Charlotte Casiraghi of Monaco. Always: Tone on tone dressing. Navy. Conservative layers (NO BANGS). Wide brims (hats; helmets; visors). Pearls. A good watch. Working knowledge of wine pairings. Avoid: Tequila. Prints. Unbraided manes. Soundscape: James Bay, the new Mumford, the National Anthem.

Royal Windsor Preview

Show: The Royal Windsor Horse Show

Stats: Held annually since 1943 on the Crown Estate currently known as Home Park at Windsor, Berkshire, England.

Reasons to freak out: Ben Maher’s Cella will be making her comeback. Also, Ben Maher, generally. Also the only show in the UK to have all the sports, and by that we mean dressage, showjumping, endurance and driving.

Things we plan on doing: Champagne; wearing all our sunhats because it’s actually supposed to maybe not rain constantly; pretending to not fangirl completely out whenever Cella is out; lying about how many ice creams we’ve had.

Current style vibes: Red breeches, light cashmere, aviators always, brogues because sass.